My Blanken World

My world of boys, textiles and moving.

Not *MY* child! January 13, 2013

Filed under: Family,Random thoughts — blankenmom @ 12:16 am
Tags: , , ,


Oh, you remember when…



perfect mom1



……you were the best parent there was!

  • You knew how to get children to clean their rooms and to love cleaning their rooms.
  • You knew how to keep children quiet.  To sit perfectly in every situation.
  • You knew how to get your children to listen to your every word and obey, even when you weren’t there.
  • You knew how to get a child to eat the fancy meals that you liked, so they’d be cultured and intelligent.
  • You knew how to teach every child to read by 3, be a math genius by 4 and a master at your favorite sport by 5.
  • You knew how to keep your laundry done, no matter how many kids you had.
  • You knew how to get any stain out.


  • You would never have a yard that looked like that because your children would always pick up every toy when they were done.
  • You would never have a van that looked like that because you wouldn’t allow food in your car.
  • Your child would never behave that way because you know how to discuss things with children.


My all time favorite of a “never been a parent, but still the best at it” comment: “My child would never do that!”  (Btw – since you said that, that’s the first thing they’re going to do!)






I remember this when my boys were still very young.  Majority of my friends, family and people we were around hadn’t had children yet and I would hear all these and more, frequently.  It used to bother me until they started having children and it became entertaining.  All those things that they insisted would never happen or give me “expert” advice on – out the window!


This popped into my mind today as we were talking with a new mother as she was cleaning up a mess.  It wasn’t from her child, but from other children playing at the facility we were at.

“I can’t believe these kids.  They see the sign that says no kicking the ball and do it anyway?  I wouldn’t let my kid act this way?”

“Wait about 15 years and you’ll see.”

“Oh no – My son will not act this way, I know what I’m doing!”




Parenting reality is harsh man.  It takes no prisoners…..


Toys get left out.  Tantrums are thrown at the worst time possible in the worst place possible.  Food is thrown out because it’s “yucky”.  Sand thrown at the play ground, no matter how much you discuss being nice.  Words you’ve never used, come out of your child’s mouth – usually at the check-out stand.  Mystery stains show up and ruin entire loads….. that have been there for two weeks, because you’re still trying to find the weird smell coming from the room that hasn’t been cleaned since…. well, who knows?  Walls get colored on and fibs get told.  And french fries will show up at some point in time at the bottom of that car, because you just. need. some. quiet.






Now that my boys are older, I get to sit back and watch the people with younger kids tell me how to parent, and giggle.  Just as the grandparents get to sit back and giggle when I tell them my grand philosophy on parenting teenagers.  (I have none – I’m lost.  I admit it!)


So those of you with no children – enjoy your time in the sun as the perfect parent!

Those of you with small children – enjoy your time in the sun as an excellent parent!

Those of you with older children – enjoy your time in the sun as a good parent!

Those of you with no more children – enjoy your time in the sun and giggle at the rest of us!




8 Responses to “Not *MY* child!”

  1. Amanda Burrow Says:

    Well said my dear! I love comments from people who don’t have children. As always I take them with a grain of salt and thanks for your input on something you know nothing about until you actually have some of your own, whether naturally or adopted. I don’t think babysitting counts, really. Unless you have experienced vomit at 0320 in the morning or a laying down tantrum in the video store, or my favorite when my 7 year old, just a few weeks ago sprayed the inside of my Mini-van with vomit. I mean we were almost home, short of about 10 minutes from our house. Honestly I don’t tell old people how to take Geritol or how to wear Depends, or young people in their partying years what to do with their lives. However some people will always want to poke their nose in your business!

    • blankenmom Says:

      I know sometimes I shoot things out of my mouth that I later think “Really? Did I just say that to that new mom?” But it has seriously cut down on it. I just pray I never become that old lady who touches other peoples babies with out asking first!!

  2. sewfordough Says:

    Hilarious post! You always make me laugh and it’s all so true!

    Actually, I didn’t have success on any of your bullet point list above! I kept hoping I had done just one of them well! It’s amazing how uptight most of us are with our first child and how many things we make a big deal over. Mine are grown and gone now and some days you’re glad they’re all grown up and other days you really miss them. Enjoy each moment young mamas.

    • blankenmom Says:

      I can attest that yes, even though the boys are still with me (at least for a bit longer this year), they grow up SO fast and yet, not fast enough. Yeah, I didn’t do so well with the list either, but for the most part I knew I wouldn’t. I was never that uptight thank goodness (but then I had the boys before I fully grew up, maybe that helps?). I do remember saying stupid things though that I later re-heard in my head and had to laugh at myself. My favorite that I’ve said: “I don’t want my boys using play guns. It may make them violent.” Ummmm – yeah, they sort of come out that way. And everything we own has been turned into a gun. I gave up – Nerf rules our home now!

      All we can do is laugh at ourselves and enjoy the ride.

  3. trixfred30 Says:

    My sister summed it all up the other day when she proclaimed that her third child (4 months) had started watching TV (thanks god she said) – then she looked at the floor and muttered something about not believing she had said that

    • blankenmom Says:

      That is so funny and so true! I bet she swore her children would never watch t.v. or only an hour a week or some such nonsense before she had them too. Hahaha! (I laugh, because I care…. and because I am 100% sure I said the same thing.)

  4. Christina Says:

    Love this.. Great post.

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