While looking over Pinterest for new idea’s for baby items for all of our friends who are just starting to join us in parenthood, I discovered an odd trend. I’m not sure what to call it. Mom shaming, mom bashing; what ever you call it, it’s evil.
Meme’s telling you that you love your child less because you had them naturally (that one sort of shocked me), didn’t adopt, didn’t home/public/private school. Didn’t stay home, didn’t go to work. Divorced their dad, stayed with their dad; don’t have two moms, didn’t wait to have them until you were “old enough” or had them when them when you were “too old”. Did or didn’t breast feed; cloth or disposable or even what you name them. Doesn’t matter – you’re doing it wrong!
To be honest, Pinterest isn’t the only place you’re going to find such “loving” words. Go to any place you can post or chat with other ladies and you’ll find a whole house of hens (hens: gossips, busybody’s, know-it-all’s and generally stuck-up women who feel you need their opinion) waiting to cluck your head off for what they find not up to their standards. I’ve had to leave a few sites because of anger issues – of other women, towards other women.
I don’t get it?
In this world of craziness, wouldn’t a little understanding, compassion and…. (a word that I dislike due to its over use and ever twisting meaning) tolerance of another human beings decisions? It’s a diaper for pete’s sake – not a nuke – even at its worst!
I do get that the meme’s and posts on the personal boards, chat rooms and FB pages are their way of venting a serious frustration. Do people understand that other people can see these though? And at what point does that spill over to another board where you rip some girl apart for not making her own baby food? Or at a dinner out, because your friend didn’t have the right words to say to your never-ending complaint about being a SAHM? Or yelling at the store clerk because she should be home with her baby instead of working! (Oh – you know you’ve seen these women!)
My dentist man taught me years ago a great way to put the kibosh on a potentially heated conversation. Just say….
It doesn’t mean you’re agreeing with their statement. It’s not implying you like it. It’s not implying you don’t like it. You could be filled with rage about the topic and want to reach over the dinner table to pop the other person upside the head and say “WTHk?”, but a simple…
….. is all that is needed.
If you’re in a chat room, you don’t even need that. As Alton Brown says “Just walk away. Just…. walk away.” No need for the hate, the meanness, the “always needing to be right”. You’re right in your own little world and that should be all that matters.
I know of very few women who raised, are raising or will be raising their kids the same way I did and am. I don’t expect them to. And you know what? That’s…..