My Blanken World

My world of boys, textiles and moving.

Ring it September 9, 2015

Filed under: Family,Hubby,Random thoughts — blankenmom @ 12:36 am
Tags: , , ,

new ring

.

.

I have a confession – I never liked my wedding ring.  Or my wedding for that matter.

.

It was bought on a sale because frankly, that was all we could afford at the time.  It wasn’t the color or the shape I wanted, it was just, a ring.  The diamonds were kind of wonky, but I can’t really blame the jeweler.  I blacked out in the store while they were fixing a few of the loose stones a few months into my pregnancy.  They just wanted me out.

The wedding was at the courthouse, with my son in tow.  Rushed, so my dentist man could go off to basic.  Not what you picture as a little girl growing up, even if you’re a tomboy.

.

The ring I really wanted, I kept a picture of for 20 years, for our “big” anniversary.  20 years seemed so far away at the time?  I had wrapped my mind around this ring with a choke hold.  That is what I really want!  In my mind, I didn’t get a “real” wedding, so why not a pretty ring?  Ok, so I didn’t get a “pretty” ring, so how about a “really pretty” ring on our 20th?  20 years I thought about this.

.

Pathetic… maybe.  Hush you.

.

A few months back, a pastor was talking about how much people spend on weddings.  Upwards of $15k for a “small” wedding.  I think ours may have cost $200, maybe?  And of those weddings, about 50% get a divorce before their 20th anniversary.  He wondered why we as a society spend so much, just to throw it away a few years later?  Why not spend that much on a 20th, or 50th anniversary?  Why not celebrate a real accomplishment?

I mean, the joining of two people to become one is amazing, but in reality, they’re still in “puppy love” – it’s no miracle.  Morning breath isn’t even an issue yet.  20, 30, 40 years later when they’ve gotten passed “dutch ovens”, seeing childbirth, financial difficulties, teenagers, and possibly severe illnesses together – that, right there, is something to be celebrated with a huge party!

.

This began to change my view on my scrawny, unloved ring, and for that matter, my scrawny, unloved wedding.

.

6 months ago I put up a picture of “the ring” on the inside of my dentist man’s bathroom mirror with the request “If you’re going to get me a gift, I want *THIS* ring.  No other ring.  *THIS* ring.  I don’t care what size diamonds.  What color.  Or how inexpensively you buy it.  I want *THIS* ring!”  And after 20 years of waiting, we found out my finger is too small for it.  I think it *might* have fit my thumb?

.

stupid pygmy fingers

.

For a bit there, I was really, sadly, a bit devastated.

.

My dentist man and I went and picked out a very similar ring, that fit my stupid pygmy finger and we waited for it to come back from the jeweler.

.

And waited.

.

And waited.

.

It feels like forever you know.  Especially when you’ve waited 20 years.  Ok, it was only a week and a half, I was a little impatient here.

.

But while I was waiting, I looked at my “old” ring.  The one I had thought of as so ugly, and boring.  And I thought about our wedding, that I thought of as so shameful.  And I thought about us getting to 20 years and still being so in-love.  And the thought of being together until death, and still being in-love.  And that “old” ring started to become so beautiful to me.  All of it’s nicks and dings.  It’s wonky diamonds that have a back story.  It’s worn out underside because I refuse take it off.  A little paint stuck between some of the diamonds.

And looking over the wedding photo’s of two young kids, who were really, truly in love.  Even though the product of that love showed up a little earlier than we would have planned, we had a “quicky” wedding, because we cared more about living, than a party.  We got “just a ring” because we cared more about each other, than material things.  We may have been still in “puppy love”, but it’s grown more than I could have imagined.

.

My ring showed up today.  As I slipped the unworn, pristine diamonds and gold up against my worn out, wonky diamonds and dented gold, I was so proud of them both.  They tell a story of two people, who became one and made a whole new world for themselves.  To tell you the truth, the ring was never really that important day-to-day.  But when I look at them now, I’m reminded to see our past, present and future, with pride.

.

Oh I want a big party still.  But I want a big, giant 80th anniversary.  In wedding style.  Let’s celebrate the big accomplishments here!

I will never look at our wedding, our anniversaries, or our small day-to-day memories the same again.

.

.

.

And just in case you were wondering what I got him?

.

.

glasses

.

.

Liquor glasses, with all the roles he’s played over the past 20 years.  He’s worn a lot of hats, and done them remarkably well.  And frankly, being married to me, takes a lot little liquor every-so-often!

.

.

Advertisements
 

Any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s