My Blanken World

My world of boys, textiles and moving.

Ring it September 9, 2015

Filed under: Family,Hubby,Random thoughts — blankenmom @ 12:36 am
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new ring

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I have a confession – I never liked my wedding ring.  Or my wedding for that matter.

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It was bought on a sale because frankly, that was all we could afford at the time.  It wasn’t the color or the shape I wanted, it was just, a ring.  The diamonds were kind of wonky, but I can’t really blame the jeweler.  I blacked out in the store while they were fixing a few of the loose stones a few months into my pregnancy.  They just wanted me out.

The wedding was at the courthouse, with my son in tow.  Rushed, so my dentist man could go off to basic.  Not what you picture as a little girl growing up, even if you’re a tomboy.

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The ring I really wanted, I kept a picture of for 20 years, for our “big” anniversary.  20 years seemed so far away at the time?  I had wrapped my mind around this ring with a choke hold.  That is what I really want!  In my mind, I didn’t get a “real” wedding, so why not a pretty ring?  Ok, so I didn’t get a “pretty” ring, so how about a “really pretty” ring on our 20th?  20 years I thought about this.

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Pathetic… maybe.  Hush you.

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A few months back, a pastor was talking about how much people spend on weddings.  Upwards of $15k for a “small” wedding.  I think ours may have cost $200, maybe?  And of those weddings, about 50% get a divorce before their 20th anniversary.  He wondered why we as a society spend so much, just to throw it away a few years later?  Why not spend that much on a 20th, or 50th anniversary?  Why not celebrate a real accomplishment?

I mean, the joining of two people to become one is amazing, but in reality, they’re still in “puppy love” – it’s no miracle.  Morning breath isn’t even an issue yet.  20, 30, 40 years later when they’ve gotten passed “dutch ovens”, seeing childbirth, financial difficulties, teenagers, and possibly severe illnesses together – that, right there, is something to be celebrated with a huge party!

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This began to change my view on my scrawny, unloved ring, and for that matter, my scrawny, unloved wedding.

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6 months ago I put up a picture of “the ring” on the inside of my dentist man’s bathroom mirror with the request “If you’re going to get me a gift, I want *THIS* ring.  No other ring.  *THIS* ring.  I don’t care what size diamonds.  What color.  Or how inexpensively you buy it.  I want *THIS* ring!”  And after 20 years of waiting, we found out my finger is too small for it.  I think it *might* have fit my thumb?

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stupid pygmy fingers

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For a bit there, I was really, sadly, a bit devastated.

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My dentist man and I went and picked out a very similar ring, that fit my stupid pygmy finger and we waited for it to come back from the jeweler.

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And waited.

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And waited.

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It feels like forever you know.  Especially when you’ve waited 20 years.  Ok, it was only a week and a half, I was a little impatient here.

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But while I was waiting, I looked at my “old” ring.  The one I had thought of as so ugly, and boring.  And I thought about our wedding, that I thought of as so shameful.  And I thought about us getting to 20 years and still being so in-love.  And the thought of being together until death, and still being in-love.  And that “old” ring started to become so beautiful to me.  All of it’s nicks and dings.  It’s wonky diamonds that have a back story.  It’s worn out underside because I refuse take it off.  A little paint stuck between some of the diamonds.

And looking over the wedding photo’s of two young kids, who were really, truly in love.  Even though the product of that love showed up a little earlier than we would have planned, we had a “quicky” wedding, because we cared more about living, than a party.  We got “just a ring” because we cared more about each other, than material things.  We may have been still in “puppy love”, but it’s grown more than I could have imagined.

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My ring showed up today.  As I slipped the unworn, pristine diamonds and gold up against my worn out, wonky diamonds and dented gold, I was so proud of them both.  They tell a story of two people, who became one and made a whole new world for themselves.  To tell you the truth, the ring was never really that important day-to-day.  But when I look at them now, I’m reminded to see our past, present and future, with pride.

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Oh I want a big party still.  But I want a big, giant 80th anniversary.  In wedding style.  Let’s celebrate the big accomplishments here!

I will never look at our wedding, our anniversaries, or our small day-to-day memories the same again.

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And just in case you were wondering what I got him?

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glasses

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Liquor glasses, with all the roles he’s played over the past 20 years.  He’s worn a lot of hats, and done them remarkably well.  And frankly, being married to me, takes a lot little liquor every-so-often!

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20 something August 30, 2015

Filed under: Family,Random thoughts — blankenmom @ 11:46 pm
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Wedding photo

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“The days are long, but the years are short.”

Unknown

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20 years ago, these two 19 year old’s said “I do” in a court house, with their 6 month old son in tow.  He was about to ship off for the Air Force and she stayed home with their son, working a night job waitressing until he was out of training.  And that’s how their one life together began.

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~

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When we looked at this picture on our anniversary date, we had to think back to what we thought then.  Newlywed parents, one year out of high school, who couldn’t even afford an actual wedding, or barely even the rings.  Things looked pretty grim and very few let us think otherwise.

Who would have thought 20 years later, through odd jobs, moves, various training, schooling, and craziness that can only happen to us, they would own their own dental office, raise three more boys, climb the ranks to LT., and still look at each other like each had hung the moon.

Growing up together.  Learning about life together.  Screwing up together.  Laughing and crying together.  Stressing and chilling together.  Couldn’t imagine any other way?  I know this man like the back of my hand, and still, he can surprise me.  And he’ll tell me things about myself that I never would have guessed.

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“Every love story is good, but I like ours the best.”

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I know some think 20 years isn’t that long, but when statistics, and strangers, told you constantly that you wouldn’t make it, 20 years is pretty amazing.  And no wonder, with that kind of encouragement, marriages, especially young couples, never last?  Knowing what we thought then about our future, and then think of the next 20, I can only imagine what God has in store for us together.

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When you get to your death bed, will you have wished you took a direct path, with little excitement, but a lot of safety and no one to distract you.  Or the long meandering way with lot’s of adventures, great people and someone to share the whole story with?

It will never be easy sailing, but then, what fun would that be?

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“So they are no longer two, but one flesh: Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Mathew 19:6

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Office photo