I have been wanting to post for weeks now, but to be fully honest, this has been a truly terrible month. And I don’t mean that lightly.
To start the month off, we realized our mortgage company, Seterus, lost several thousands of dollars in escrow money (money they put aside to pay for things like taxes and insurance), and hasn’t been paying our hazard insurance, in spite of collecting for it. Insurance we have to have to keep our mortgage for “that house”. Both of which are illegal. After several, multi-hour conversations, with them attempting to blame us for the lost money and their inability to pay the insurance they’ve been collecting money for, they told me to call back a few days later while they try to straighten it out.
I called our lawyer instead.
A few days later, my brother-in-law who has been battling bi-polar disorder/schizophrenia for nearly 20 years now, ended his life while his mother made his birthday dinner, leaving behind his heartbroken 15 year old son, older and younger brothers, and parents that he had been living with, and whose birthdays were only a few days later.
He stopped taking his meds when the program that delivered them, and helped insure he took them, ran out of money. I’m so glad my taxes go to pay for dead-beats who choose not to work, but not for people who are truly ill and would still be here, working, if only for that same money. I wonder if the large amounts of money we lost to our crappy state-aid renters would have helped keep him with us?
I guess that’s one way to solve their budget issues.
And this is all while I was gearing up for the first anniversary of my sister’s sudden passing. My sister who had been battling alcoholism and depression for as long as I can remember, killed herself, accidentally, and left behind her heartbroken husband and 16 year old son, our older brother, myself and three sets of parents (divorce people, we’re not complete freaks).
The month is almost over, and hopefully this feeling of overwhelming pain, sadness, confusion, anger and frustration, all wrapped up in one little month, will be also.
My biggest consolation here is that tomorrow is Easter, the biggest day of hope possible. I will see them all again, healthy and whole. The mortgage company, whether we get this fixed or not, will fall away. God’s promise through Jesus’ resurrection is that all this is defeated and the pain is only temporary. While it hurts and frustrates us now, there is still hope. Always hope.
Onto April please.