My Blanken World

My world of boys, textiles and moving.

March-ing on March 26, 2016

Filed under: Family,Hubby — blankenmom @ 11:59 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

 

birds

 

I have been wanting to post for weeks now, but to be fully honest, this has been a truly terrible month.  And I don’t mean that lightly.

To start the month off, we realized our mortgage company, Seterus, lost several thousands of dollars in escrow money (money they put aside to pay for things like taxes and insurance), and hasn’t been paying our hazard insurance, in spite of collecting for it.  Insurance we have to have to keep our mortgage for “that house”.  Both of which are illegal.  After several, multi-hour conversations, with them attempting to blame us for the lost money and their inability to pay the insurance they’ve been collecting money for, they told me to call back a few days later while they try to straighten it out.

 

I called our lawyer instead.

 

A few days later, my brother-in-law who has been battling bi-polar disorder/schizophrenia for nearly 20 years now, ended his life while his mother made his birthday dinner, leaving behind his heartbroken 15 year old son, older and younger brothers, and parents that he had been living with, and whose birthdays were only a few days later.

He stopped taking his meds when the program that delivered them, and helped insure he took them, ran out of money.  I’m so glad my taxes go to pay for dead-beats who choose not to work, but not for people who are truly ill and would still be here, working, if only for that same money.  I wonder if the large amounts of money we lost to our crappy state-aid renters would have helped keep him with us?

 

I guess that’s one way to solve their budget issues.

 

And this is all while I was gearing up for the first anniversary of my sister’s sudden passing.  My sister who had been battling alcoholism and depression for as long as I can remember, killed herself, accidentally, and left behind her heartbroken husband and 16 year old son, our older brother, myself and three sets of parents (divorce people, we’re not complete freaks).

 

The month is almost over, and hopefully this feeling of overwhelming pain, sadness, confusion, anger and frustration, all wrapped up in one little month, will be also.

 

My biggest consolation here is that tomorrow is Easter, the biggest day of hope possible.  I will see them all again, healthy and whole.  The mortgage company, whether we get this fixed or not, will fall away.  God’s promise through Jesus’ resurrection is that all this is defeated and the pain is only temporary.  While it hurts and frustrates us now, there is still hope.  Always hope.

 

Onto April please.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements
 

Some sort of new year January 2, 2016

Filed under: Family,Pets,Random thoughts — blankenmom @ 7:44 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

1230151503

.

.

Happy New Year to everyone!  

 

Something we can all share in.  No religious, cultural, or ethnic differences there, we all experience the new year.  Like birth and death, we all experience it differently, but we all experience it none-the-less.

And in the same way, we look forward to the upcoming year in different ways.

Our last few years have been a little rough.  And my normally “Pollyanna’ish” outlook has become a bit less as of late.  In other words – I was dreading the upcoming year.  All I could see were more rental issues.  More military issues.  More teenager issues.  More… issues.  And another move and a lot of chaos where I’d rather have some peace.

And right as I was attempting to pull myself out of the funk before the new year struck, Travelers, the insurance company for American Water denied our claim (stating that the water issue was our fault), our van door handle broke, and my dentist man’s CRV’s wiring went haywire causing his front lights to go out randomly.  And the pug has a giant… something on her nose.

Excellent start to the new year already.

And this is where I had to make a choice.  Probably a choice a lot of us have to make.

How are we going to head into this next step?   How are we going to look at life and what comes at us?

I can’t just drop the last year and all it’s mess, life doesn’t work that way.  So I head into this new year tired, run down, full of dread.  But, I also head into it with a lot more wisdom.  A lot more knowledge.  And lot more faith.  And just as I was about to give up, and just let everything fall apart around me, I was reminded that this isn’t for me to carry.  I need to hand this last worn and heavy year off the Lord, and allow Him to hand back the new year.  Fresh and light.  And I’ll walk through it with Him, battle worn and marked with scars from all the years before, so that I can remember what He’s carried me through.

We shouldn’t pretend that we’re not affected and that we’re all ready for the next step.  It’s ok to admit when you need help to move on.  The important part, is that you do move on.

.

So forgive me if I don’t say that I’m completely stoked for the upcoming year.  I can say, that I am excited to tell you about how I got through it.

 

 

1222151906

 

.

.

And I can’t wait to see watch how great your new year goes!