My Blanken World

My world of boys, textiles and moving.

Time is relative July 1, 2019

Filed under: Church,Places,Random thoughts,What's happening — blankenmom @ 1:43 am
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This last weekend I helped a mom host a baby shower for her daughter.  She had never thrown one before, so I obliged, having thrown a few, and attended more than a few.

Keep in mind, I will give extra gifts to the expecting mom if she leaves me off the party list.  I genuinely do not enjoy these types of parties.  Give me a few friends, a quiet place and good food and that’s what I call a party.  I truly am not offended by not being invented if of course it wasn’t out of malice, in which case, you’re just going to get boring gifts – so there.

But I get her stress at trying to figure out the scheduling and invitations, and all that goes into one so I said of course.

Here is where things get more interesting…

Ok, the family is Mexican.  As in, straight up from Mexico.  And if you’ve spent even one event with a family of Mexican’s you already know, they’re going to be late.  And not like, 15 minutes late.  No, they’re going to be 1-2 hours late.  Usually two.  So when I was helping her get out the invites, I suggested giving them a two hour difference on their invitations, and she whole heartedly agreed specifically because we only had the room for two hours.

However, in all the chaos of the baby arriving very early, she forgot this step.

The baby shower turned into a “Welcome Baby” party, and the absolutely adorable 5 lb baby girl was adored by all!  Of course, mom arrived an hour late and new mom arrived an hour and a half late.  And all the guests arrived 15 minutes after that.  Leaving us with 15 minutes to swoon over yummy baby scent.  Thank you to the venue allowing us the room even after our time, since there were no more parties booked after us – that was awesome!

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I have a friend from Nigeria who is notorious for being 30 minutes late every where she goes.  During her cancer treatment, our bible study took turns taking her to her appointments.  Which in turn, also had the added benefit of getting her there on time.  “I’m on African time” she’d say in her thick musical accent.

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When we have parties with some friends out this way who are from various places south of the border, and a few of us North American’s, they will accordingly invite us all at different times.  We’ve had a good laugh over this –

White folks show up 15 minutes early.

Asians show up exactly on the dot.

Black folks show up about 30 minutes late.

Latinos show up 1-3 hours late.

Plan accordingly.

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For the first year we knew them we never met their family because we always left for church on Saturday night before their families even made it!  But once we got the schedules figured out, and we switched churches, those were the most amazing parties!

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The same was definitely true for the baby shower.  Once the waiting was over, for those of us who showed up 15 minutes early… or somewhere in between, meeting all their friends, trying out new foods, getting to hear their stories of how they know each other and them teaching about what their culture does with new babies, it was an excellent time.

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Every culture, and family, learns different customs.  It would be so boring to ignore them.  The more people I meet, the more interesting the world becomes.

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I was glad to be reminded of “African” time from my Mexican mom’s.  And see that time, is relative.

 

 

Just me September 23, 2018

Filed under: Boys,Dentist,Family,Random thoughts — blankenmom @ 11:32 pm
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barren-desert-dry-hot-preview

 

Picture this –

Me, pulling out of my long, multifamily, gravel driveway, onto the winding main road into town.  The road is 40 mph (64 kph), and we pull out behind a blind corner.

This is also the same corner that several car accidents have happened since we’ve been here.  I’ve called on two myself.  One guy clipped a power pole about 3 feet from the top.  Quite the sight to see.

For our neighborhood, besides the risk of getting hit when pulling out, these accidents cause power outages, which is frustrating because we can’t use our toilets (or anything using the well) when the power goes out (pretty much the only downfall to living in the sticks for me).  For the people living on that main road however, it could mean their fences, livestock, or even house or family could be taken out.

 

As I pulled out a few days ago, one of the people on this road jumped out from behind her fence to start screaming at me to slow down.  Looking down at my speedometer, I wasn’t even going the speed limit yet.  Actually, my ancient vehicle really can’t make it to the speed limit by her driveway, but I appreciate her faith in my van.

I fully admit, in my startled state, I stopped, turned around and may have exchanged word with her.  (No cursing!)  After she tried her best to insult me – calling me a young mother – at 42, I drove away.

After thinking about this though, I realized she did have a very valid worry.  She was however, going about solving it in a very poor way.  Causing another accident by scaring the pants off of someone probably isn’t what she was going for.

 

Here’s my bigger issue –

 

I realized after this happened that, on any given trip out of my house, I fully expect someone to either yell at me for some random thing, or expect me to explain myself for some random thing (that’s usually none of their business).

 

Scolding-Woman

 

Like what you say?

I’ve had a teacher yell at me for cheating, after she said I could ask for help.

I’ve been yelled at for asking for my child’s blood type.  “If you wanted to know who the father is, you need to pay for that yourself.”  (The pediatrician was NOT happy about this.  Same nurse later yelled at me because said child pooped while I was changing him.)

I’ve been yelled at walking my (very young) boys down the street to “Stop having kids” from a passing car.

I’ve had someone stop me and my (very young) boys so they could tell me what a horrible mother I was because one ran ahead of me, and threaten to call the police.

I’ve had a random person walk up and ask if all the boys are from the same father.

I’ve been asked if I was done having children while shopping for an oven.

I once had a customer ask about a recipe I make, and after I told them the recipe, they said they couldn’t make it because “they work”.  I literally had to check my outfit to see if I was wearing my uniform.  (Apparently working at a grocery store wasn’t actually “work”?)

I had a checker yell at me for taking too much of her time with the amount of groceries I had…  (that was seriously a weird one).

“You have to work and your husband is a dentist?  He must not be very good.”  (Someone who apparently thinks dental school and dental practices are free.  And who has never experienced a flood/bad renters… or, real life.)

 

This is just a *very* small sample of weirdness.

 

This can’t just be me, right?  Other people get yelled at randomly?  I know people say stupid things.  I know we ALL say stupid things.  But I seem to be a magnet for weird, bizarre, rude, intrusive behavior.

 

So what happened with the lady at the bottom of the hill?

 

I came back the next day with flowers and a note, explaining the situation better –

  • I dealt with the situation poorly, however… popping out to yell at people isn’t very wise.
  • I wasn’t even going the speed limit yet.
  • We have to speed up quickly so we don’t get hit from the blind corner.
  • It’s NEVER “young mom’s” causing the accidents, it’s dudes in their early 20’s (but I appreciated the compliment).
  • I wanted the problem fixed too, so I called the police to see what they could do to help the situation – they’re working with us now.

The comical sad part, was her sour-puss face and angry hands on hips as she stood behind her screen door, when I dropped them off.  I then realized she’s just not a happy person.  No note, or flowers can fix that.  But I’ve done my part.

 

As for myself, I refuse to let the sour-puss, cranky, rude, intrusive people of the world to make me the same way.

let-it-go

But I could really do without the yelling…

 

What weird, rude, intrusive questions have people felt they needed to ask you?  Or things people thought were appropriate to randomly yell at you?  (Keep it clean please.)